I'm amused.

Apparently the MBTA is watching me, closely, but not closely enough to realize what my pen-name actually is (I was misrepresented as Amoni, compared to Amomi - which is indeed, a pen-name so that I do not have to disclose my actual name). If you'll follow this link: http://charlieonthembta.blogspot.com/ and then scroll down a little while you'll notice that they are actually placing links to different individuals thoughts/blogs/notes of their feelings on the new MBTA system. It honestly suggests two things to me, that the MBTA doesn't have enough sense to actually pay attention to who is blogging about their transportation system. Secondly, I'm thoroughly amused by this prospect; apparently my thoughts are getting more attention then previously anticipated. I have recieved over 50 hits on this blog since the MBTA posted my link on their blog. If I continue to write about them, maybe they'll notice that something else is missing. Intelligence on their part. Consider that they just called me a poor college student, but they don't take the time to actually question why I don't have any money. Perhaps if they could spend more time on state funding towards smaller colleges (I attend SMFA), I wouldn't have to pay such a large tuition bill. On top of that, putting out the idea that all I am is a poor college student is insensitive to who I actually might be.

Thank You, MBTA Blog, for just linking up to me. Without any sort of thoughts as to whether or not I would want to be represented on your blog. Thank YOU, MBTA for feeding us more bull shit about your public transportation. Personally, I would be happy to walk everywhere, considering that (apparently) we are the walking city. However, getting back from Medford since I am a commuter student between SMFA and Tufts University on Monday and Wednesday nights is a bit strenuous. Especially when I have papers to deal with, pages in textbooks to read, and articles to analyze. 

Again, jacking up the price without considering who it affects is kind of selfish. Do they ever consider who actually rides on their "T" system? Not just college students, but high school students, and single parents, and individuals on welfare. It goes back to the dichotemy of our political system; stating that you are concerned about the poor and the discriminated against - when in actuality, you are only concerned about the rich and wealthy. The ones that can make contributions to your funds, funds that go towards instituting more capitalistic consumerism.

I hope that this has given the MBTA more to think about, it certainly has given me more to think about.

AMOMI (Ashely-Morgan Miller) 

I cannot be everyone's ear.

I'm so frustrated with things lately. For once, my family and I are getting along; however - everything else is getting in the way and I don't think that I should be responsible for it. I've got a friend who's dying of breast cancer, but she's not willing to do anything with her life - she's just letting the cancer over take her, and I hate it. I may not understand totally, but I'm not willing to let her go down without a fight. I think it's unfair to all the people who DO love her to see her in this state, and it makes me question my own goals. It's the old thought of, you never know when you're going to die. It could be today, tomorrow, or the day after - maybe 10 years down the road, it's never something that you can plan, which is why I'm taking really good steps. I'm making every day worth the while, and I'm going to stop taking things that I have, people that I have in my life for granted. Sure, it's baby steps - but we all have to start somewhere.

I mean, sure, this is a really small entry, but this will also be my second night without a lot of sleep.

So - Good Night.

Thoughts on suicide.

Johnny Seamus-Angus Valentine: February 12th. Cocaine mixed with heroin overdose. He was going to be 21 on Valentine's Day.

That was my best friend. That was my shoulder to cry on. That was my everything to rely on.

So when you ask me where I stand on suicide, just remember that my best friend killed himself. He left me notes that were found several months after his death, blaming me for his suicide, saying that he did it because I couldn't love him - like he loved me. It was true, that his whole heart was trying to reach out and touch me. I saw him like a brother, because that's how close we were. He needed me, I needed him (but he needed drugs) - at first it was a nice symbiotic relationship. He's take my picture, because I'm an aspiring model, they came out beautifully.

Photographs don't seem quite so beautiful anymore. They're not nearly as pleasant to look at when I realize that the photographer could be just like Johnny - falling apart on the inside. Sometimes a photograph needs to be resqued. 

I think that I'm blogging during this early afternoon to avoid all of my papers, my homework, and doing anything totally productive. I'm supposed to go out or hang out with friends today, but I don't know if that's going to happen. It's so strange that I actually want to do homework, to get it done, because the majority of my senior year of high school was spent not caring about work because I knew that I would shortly be out of that hell hole that we call high school. Maybe that's what I should post about today, all these things that we never actually learn in high school - which, let's face it, if everyone knew then (when they're in high school) what they knew now (life or college), we would all be incredibly thankful for those high school instructors who taught us.

Let's start with the fact that the quarter (yes I mean 25 CENTS), is possibly the most important piece of money that a college student can have. I'm currently in Boston (beantown for townies), and if you know anything about Boston's public transportation, you'll know about the T (the train/MBTA). It's basically a comparative version of New York's subway system, with fewer lines, and more people because the individual cars are smaller. First of all, the new "Charlie Card" - whose the genius who thought of that thing, it really does speed up being in the damn line. UNLESS - you don't have the Charlie Card and don't particularly want to pay to get this thin slip of plastic that you're probably going to lose within the following week. Secondly, the Boston government has jacked up the price from 1.25 - 2.00 (unless you have the Charlie Card and then it's 1.70). I don't understand it, don't the grasp the concept that the majority of their current population is college students? Honestly, I barely have the cash to ride the T sometimes and if I didn't have this damn card then I would have to fork out 2.00 everytime I get on their (which is generally Monday and Wednesday nights). I think that it's totally unfair, but that's just my position.

Another great thing about quarters is the fact that college's have laundry rooms, and laundry rooms generally equal the need for quarters. These quarters become like GOLD, every college student in the residence halls scrambling for them on the ground and looking for them every where else. College laundry is so damn expensive as it is, I mean couldn't they cut us a break? We're paying enough for tuition, we should be responsible for a laundry room paycheck already. Give us time to adjust to this new, adult life.

Quarters, who ever thought that I would actually post about quarters? I'm not entirely sure.

I'd like to speak more about my own life for a minute though, and isn't that what these blogs are all about anyways? People talking about things that they find to be important even though most people just don't care.

I digress, I would like to touch on the subject of long-distance relationships (and a gasp is derived from the mouths of readers). I currently find myself in a long-distance relationship (he's in Ohio, I'm stuck in Boston). I don't quite understand why people can't make these relationships work; I've been together with my guy for 11 months and we're still going strong. In fact, I'm pretty sure we were kind of destined to be together - but that's an entirely different story. It just makes me sick that I know other people my age who can't keep a relationship with someone in their own town/city/village/etc; going for longer than a couple of months. These people can't stand to be away from one another for an hour, and I'm damn near 700 miles away from the love of my life. You people make me sick, if you really cared for that other person, you would put the effor in. You would realize, as I do, that being apart is damn difficult, but when you do come together - it's the most genuinely loving thing that you will ever know. Those moments when you meet in the airport, when you wrap your arms around eachother, nothing in the whole, wild world that we live in can beat that feeling exactly at that moment.  Keep loving, and love really does always find a way.

I continue to write about the day's adventures, even though I'm new, a virginal blogger at shoutpost.

Today, was spent preparing for tonight's festivities - a girl's night. Which by the way, if you blew me off tonight, I'm pretty pissed off about that, simply because you said you would come - it's the one thing that truly aggravates me. Also, explaining what a "girls night" to a costa-rican student is a bit of a pain, even if she does happen to be one of your roommates. She's a sweet-heart, but she's made me realize how many different slang terms that Americans use without even thinking about it.

So, prior to the actual event, I went with two friends to experience photography - I'm a photographer myself, it was just strange to go out without my own camera. Kyle had to get a camera from the media stock room, and I'm pretty pissed off again, for two reasons. A) The media stock room does not open till four o' clock in the afternoon. B) By the time this was all said and through, it was too dark to take pictures. C) They wouldn't even allow Kyle to take a camera, which made him really angry, and the rest of us frustrated. That's what you get for going to SMFA though.

Another small part that I'm going to touch on is the fact that my ex-best friend, is being childish and immature, and won't take responsibilities for the negative changes that she's going through now that she's reached college. It's obnoxious, and I may have been cruel by putting my aggravations out on my myspace blog - however, I have a right to those opinions, and I'm going to continue to have them.

The "girl's night" went well,  until I got both a migraine and a stomach ache. I'm not sure why, could have been the mixes of junk food, but that's just a possibility.

I'm a little nervous currently, because I still haven't gotten my period. I have the feelings like I'm going to get it, I just haven't gotten it yet. It's very nervewracking, because I simply can't be pregnant, I just CAN'T be.